Six Spectacular Reasons to Ignore All Those Stupid “Six Reasons He’s the One for You!” Articles

Three years in the book and I didn't need a Yahoo! article to tell me he was the one

This strays from my regular content, so I apologize to my consistent readers (all five of you). Since our anniversary was yesterday, I've been thinking and praying a lot about marriage and I really can’t keep this in anymore. I don’t know if it’s just my Facebook feed or if it’s a social media pandemic but it seems that a new “Six Reasons He’s the One”-type article pops every day. I take issue with this.

Basing your definition of a successful relationship off a Buzzfeed article may be entertaining but ask the 50% of married couples who end up divorced how entertaining it was that their match enjoyed "telling each other things you've never told anyone else.” Yeah, I bet he really enjoyed hearing about your defaulted loans, that pregnancy scare with an old boyfriend and how you chew up your cat’s food before each feeding. You just gave him the ammo to embarrass you on a whole new level.

So below I break down and provide some truth, in my opinon, to a few ridiculous reasons you should permanently hitch your wagon to someone else for eternity (folks, marriage is for life).

• You laugh together: Seriously – do I need to explain why this isn’t an indicator of your soul mate? People who I’ve laughed with: my beef science professor, my doctor, my mailman – my point? Laughing with someone doesn’t mean they automatically become marriage material – your soul mate might be somber while you’re hysterical. Think, people.
• You’re extremely attracted to him/her: Please see above. Don’t let attraction overshadow compatibility. When you’re both 75, wrinkly and saggy, you’ll be thankful for a smart, intelligent partner that you can converse with daily.
• You respect him/her: Shouldn’t you respect pretty much everyone? If so, that doesn’t really set your potential life-partner apart from everyone else.
• You can imagine a future together: This is one is way too often overused as a reason to marry someone. I imagined a future with a few fellas before I met the Ninja and thank God imaginary is as far as it ever got. They were good guys but building a life is different than imagining one.
• Your intuition tells you he’s the right one: Did your intuition tell you that getting a rainbow unicorn tattoo on your neck was a good idea, too? Sometimes our intuition is off - stick to concrete evidence.
• You don’t have to try to impress him/her – You may love sitting on the couch eating Chinese and watching NCIS, but maybe he is only sitting next to you to please you. Will he suffer through that for 50+ years to keep you happy? Or is it more likely that he'll eventually quit because honestly, there are better things to watch and eat than NCIS and Chinese takeout?

I could go on but I think I’ve made my point. Every marriage and relationship is different, so expecting some article to define perfection (or the illusion of perfection) is asinine. Ready for some real advice?

• Pray, pray, pray – God has a plan for you and hopefully you’re listening to Him.
• Use your head – I feel like this should be common sense but apparently that isn’t too common.
• Don’t rush into marriage – maybe getting engaged after 6 weeks isn’t such a good idea.
• Pay heed to red flags – does he refuse to clean up after himself? Does that infuriate you to the point of a screaming match? Guess what honey, he’s not going to change those habits. If you don’t like picking up paper plates now, you’re really going to hate it in 40 years. From personal experience: I’m still trying to get the Ninja to stop putting dishes on the counter instead of in the sink (because the sink is clearly where you put dirty dishes) and I’ve made no headway in five+ years. It’s not infuriating but it’s annoying and it likely won’t have changed 47 years from now.
• Pray some more - seriously.

Some of those articles have decent advice but the vast majority (that I’ve seen) trigger an eye roll. I’m not a relationship expert but I don’t think you have to be in order to make your own relationship decisions without the use of a Redbook quiz or a Yahoo! shine article.

Really want to know if someone is right for you and your marriage will last? Well, so does everyone else. There’s no 100% guarantee that it will work out. Marriage is a risk but if you commit to it completely and put your whole heart and soul into your marriage and keep your faith in the middle, it will be one of the most rewarding journeys you ever partake in, although it’s also one of the most difficult.

Yes, you read that right. Marriage is hard, in addition to being risky. Sure, the wedding planning and the big day are fantastic and the honeymoon will provide you a lifetime of amazing memories but when you get home that “what now” feeling will wash over you. The first year you live with someone is MISERY (in the words of my good friend, Kylee). Weekends can make or break you! In college, when you had roomies, there was always something going on but now you’re married. What are you going to do when you have no weekend plans? Are you going to complain and whine about it and let boredom breed contempt for your partner? Or are you going to go outside and unload hay, play with the dogs, ride the horses, fix the fence etc etc. Really want to bond with your partner? Clean a bathroom together after the pipes have frozen and waste water has backed up into the tub. Team work makes the dream work, people.

My point is, when you’ve got no big event to plan and it’s just you and him and your daily activities and conversations, you discover amazing things about each other and grow deeper and deeper in love. Brad Paisley sums it up very well.

What do you think? Am I off-base? Does anyone agree with me? Comment below – shout out!

Until next time,

~ Buzzard ~

p.s. And on a semi-related note – I can’t even address some of the stupid that is flowing from this article. DON’T GET MARRIED BECAUSE TWO PAYCHECKS ARE BETTER THAN ONE.